Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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