Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
