Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
