You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
