No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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