Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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