woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
