Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
