I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
