my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
