You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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