He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
