Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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