you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
