I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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