I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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