i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
