Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
