are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
