you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
