I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The air taste purple.
Randomize
