I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
