his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
