whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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