I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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