honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
