Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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