I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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