So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize