I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
