1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
