just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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