At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
And then he peed in my hair
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