im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
