Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
