idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
