We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
