i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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