I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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