Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
