farters have to be the big spoon...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
