He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
