id be glad to
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
