I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
