Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
