he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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