What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
