Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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