I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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