have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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