i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
