It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
