i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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