how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
