she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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