He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
