Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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